McTheory

I'm not going to waste a lot of time with set-up on this one. But I will share credit, again this theory is a colaborative work and I'd like to thank Will, Tony and Chris for their help in Peterborough, ON

The McCraving: It starts with hunger, and the mere mention of the word McDonalds.
You will no doubt start to feel more hungry and may even begin to taste the menu item of your choice. If left unattended with a lower than saintly level of tolerance the cravings will become unbearable and you will move onto the next stage.

The McSatisfaction: After placing you order and sitting either in your car or at the table you will start to eat your chosen menu item and realize that nothing could be better in this moment. Whether you choose a burger, chicken, a salad or any number of things, the taste of your meal will be for a moment, unbelievable.

(It's true, I've seen women and children eat the smallest meals ever and end up falling into the rest of the McTheory.)

There is a time lapse between the McSatisfaction and the next stage in the McTheory. There is no set time for this to take place but in a group it may seem to happen for everyone at the same time.

The McGurlgles: The McGurgles may also be known as a grumbly stomach or even in more serious cases a comparable feeling to the stomach flu in its' worst fury.

The McGurgles may bleed into the next stage(s). Please do not take it lightly as it will at times be very uncomfortable.

The McSleepies: As foolish and childish as the name may seem this is not a joke. After a varying amount of time has passed (it's like cough medicine, it's never the same for 2 people) after your meal, you will begin to feel tired and lacking significant energy. Although there is no need for a warning against operating heavy machinery, in certain instances you may lose all desire to return to work or any kind of physical activity at all. This may also include but is not restricted to: Not wanting to walk anywhere, not wanting to care for small children, and not caring at all about the movement of traffic as you cross the street.

(This is why athletes should not eat at McDonalds before a big game. I don't care if you're talking about the High School Track & Field team, or the NBA All-Star team, It just shouldn't be done.)

The McMood Swings: In order to avoid offending your friends, co-workers, and others close to you, please inform them that you have gone through the first four stages so that they may be prepared for what is to follow. You may become short and defensive when asked simple questions that at other times wouldn't matter at all. You may also become visibly upset with co-workers when things aren't exactly perfect when you otherwise wouldn't care. In more offensive cases you may actually go looking for trouble to release the unexplained aggression that you have acquired. There is no remedy except perhaps some light hearted pop music and a bright coloured sucker.

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