Regrets, I've Had a Few...

Don’t ever give up on your dream. You will forever regret it. Even if you don’t reach your dream, the secret is knowing you tried. If you don’t try, it will always haunt you. This, I promise true!

I was a pretty good baseball player in high school. I was tough. I was an infielder. The coaches tried me in every position, including catcher. I instinctively used my body to stop the ball. I never hesitated to sacrifice my body. I started out at third base, because my coach saw my toughness on fielding the ball. Then I had to throw across the field. I had a relatively weak arm. I didn’t use my wrist enough. So reaching first base was an issue. I used too much arm! That’s why I became the second baseman. In any sport where you have to throw anything, wrist strength is the key. The “flick of the wrist” is very important. Just ask a pitcher, a quarterback, or a point guard. It was ok, that was reality. I made the varsity baseball team nevertheless.

I was also a great hitter. I was hard to strike out. I didn’t hit the long ball, but I was great in the clutch. I batted .551 as a sophomore in junior varsity, got all the awards and accolades, then hit over .300 as a varsity player both my junior and senior years. All three years I made All-League. Just prior to my senior year, I was taught a great lesson about myself. I was taught that I was a natural born leader.

During the awards banquet after my junior season, the players chose a team captain. We all voted, and a teammate whom I respect, was an obvious choice. After he was chosen, the coaches announced that they were going to choose a second captain before next season, if anyone qualifies. It was their choice only, not the players’.

My senior year soon came, and prior to the season, practices were not very fun. The team was a mess. After winning the league my junior year, and being crowned “Northern League Champs”, the team was not as hungry. The returning players were overconfident and cocky. I didn’t want any part of it. I told the head coach that I felt that the effort in practices weren’t even close to the effort we gave the prior year. It’s that “swagger” you get when you accomplish something. You beat your chest like King Kong on the Empire State Building. Everyone knows what happens next.

One afternoon, I left the field in the middle of practice. I had enough of that cocky, negative attitude that I kept seeing and hearing, especially from the seniors of the team. No one was working hard. Something had to give! I told the coaches that I didn’t think we were a team. It was seniors, juniors, sophomores, the in-crowds, the All-leaguers, the quiet ones, all in one team. It was a team of individuals, not individuals in a team. I sat by my locker room dejected, and was ready to quit. The coaches spoke to me and I told them exactly what I saw. I also told them that I always felt that “the attitude was what made us champions, not actually winning the championship”. They convinced me to come back and speak my mind. I spoke to the entire team and told them exactly what I felt. The response I got was overwhelming. Some of the younger guys were thinking about saying the same things, but they didn’t feel like they had the seniority to voice their opinions. The seniors were at first hesitant to agree, but they realized that they were in the minority. From that day, I noticed the attitude of the entire team had changed. Humility set in and we were a team again. We were all about winning another championship and helping each other get better. The coach threatened to cut the truly arrogant senior (there is always one!) even though he was probably the most talented. Our coach constantly reminded us that he “would take determination and hard work over talent any day”. An attitude I’ve always maintained. He was a great coach. He taught us not just about baseball, but about life as well!

Just a few weeks prior to the season opener, the coaches announced that they’d chosen a second team captain. It was me. I was absolutely unsure of the decision and hesitated to take the title. The coaches then told me that it wasn’t just their decision. It was suggested by the majority of the players to make me the second captain. I was flattered, and realized that this winning attitude was going to take me places. We eventually won another league championship and was only one win away from playing for the state championship, a game to be held at Dodger Stadium!

We would subsequently lose that close game and not make it to the state championship. In my opinion, we still had a great year. We accomplished our goal by winning our league. It was a season of ups and downs. A season I will never forget for the rest of my life.

But hold on. The story doesn’t end there. The regret wasn’t not playing for the state championship at Dodger Stadium! The regret was actually the years following high school.

After high school, I attended the local state university. I didn’t even tryout for the baseball team. The reasons? First, because I was so burned-out of baseball. I had played year-round for three years, playing winter league, just to stay in shape, and to keep improving. Second, I thought that since the coach of the university didn’t contact me, I didn’t really have a chance of making it to the college level. Third, and the strongest reason, I was more interested in partying and having fun than being part of a baseball team. It was definitely a memorable time, but after a few months of the partying-college-dorm life, I started to miss baseball. I thought about my dream of someday playing shortstop for the Dodgers! Just a few years later, money issues, jobs, marriage, kids, and all the everyday pressures of adult life happened. Reality truly bites. I found myself letting go of my dreams. I never even tried. I simply let it pass me by.

A couple of years later, to add insult to injury, I ran into the baseball coach from college. He somehow recognized me and called me by my name. He said it was hard to forget a name like Robert Calixto. He said that my coach from high school had spoken to him about me, and had told him my story. He said that I had great potential to get better and that my natural leadership ability was my strongest point. He said he was expecting me to try out, but I never showed up.

That was truly a dark day for me. It felt like someone had died. Surely something had: my dream. I immediately learned that I killed it the minute I thought I couldn’t get better at the college level. It reminded me of Michael Jordan. He was less than average in high school. He had improved in college, hitting that last shot, and winning the national championship. But he had to get even better in the professional level. And he definitely did! In each level, there was always room for improvement. He gave himself a chance!

We all have that potential to get better at any level. But we have to put ourselves in that situation. You have to give yourself a chance to improve, at any and every level! I sure didn’t quit in high school, but I sure quit in college. Actually, it was worse than that.

I never even gave myself a chance to quit! I’ve regretted it ever since!

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