What?! He's MARRIED!

What!? He’s MARRIED

Background:

“Delivery Boy” was this cute delivery guy that went through out the land of Portland delivering stuff to places of business like the place I worked. I saw him a few times a week when he came in to make deliveries. I always thought he was cute. Me along with the girls I worked with would talk about “Delivery Boy”.

The day after Christmas I’m working in the office alone and in walks “Delivery Boy”. Today there was a different vibe between us. We chatted more than usual and smiled a little more at one another. He left, but a few minutes later he called the office and asked me to a play that he’d just won tickets to. I agree and we meet for drinks.

When I show up for drinks two days later I have chopped my mid back length hair super short and it now looks like a koosh ball. Of course then I didn’t think it looked that way. I thought I was hip and funky. He smiles and compliments me on my transformation. We order drinks and quickly in the conversation he reveals that he has a daughter. Insert uncontrollable face movement now! I say oh! How old? I make conversation and he shows me a picture and we smoothly change the subject.

We go to the play. We go out for dinner a couple times. Watch a movie at his place and then he comes in and has lunch with me at work one day. After “Delivery Boy” leaves one of the maintenance guys comes in and says what was “Delivery Boy” in here complaining about. I say oh nothing he was just having lunch with me. Maintenance guy looks at me in disbelief as though he can’t believe what I’ve done. He then says isn’t he married? WHAT! No he’s not married I shout back. Maintenance guy says uh yah. He came in last May telling me he went to Hawaii and got married.

My mind is flying as I am dialing his cell phone. WHAT?! He CAN’T be married. I made out with him in his apartment. There were no remnants of a woman there. Just a huge screen TV and a couch.

He answers. Now imagine the most unfriendly tone. “Uh Hi. Is there anything you want to tell me?”
No, like what?” “I don’t know that YOU’RE MARRIED!!!!!!”

Long story short. It had been annulled. Mission kick “married delivery boy’s” ass averted.

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